I get nervous when I have to get my own cart at Wal-Mart. The carts are always stuck together, and it seems that there is always a line full of people staring at me, huffing and puffing, and judging me because they are in a hurry and I am standing in their way. Which makes me feel rushed and frustrated, and then I really can't get the carts apart.
I am the same way about taking the time to put my change in the little change pocket of my wallet. I just can't do it. I always end up throwing all of my change in the bottom of my purse because I don't want the person behind me to think that I am being incredibly slow.
I also get extremely nervous about meeting people for the first time too. Should I go in for the handshake? Are they a hugger? What if I put out my hand for the handshake and they don't reciprocate?
Which brings me to goodbyes. Also nerve-racking. What if I say goodbye and nobody is paying attention and no one says anything in return. Should I say it again? Maybe they aren't saying anything because they don't care that I'm leaving. Or maybe they just didn't hear me, and might be offended if I leave without saying goodbye.
Seriously, I once fake-pumped gas. How ridiculous is that? I couldn't get the pump to work and there was a long line of military men behind me. I didn't want them to think that I couldn't accomplish a task as easy as pumping gas, so I faked it. I even did the old tap-tap-tap, when I was finished to make sure I got out every last drop of imaginary gas.
I've had bad experiences with gas stations. I once fell down at a gas station and took down a whole rack of salsa with me. Another time, I fell into the newspaper rack outside of a gas station because I was too busy staring at my frizzy hair in the window and completely missed the curb.
Ugh...I'm anxious just talking about all of this.
So now, the simplest things make me super nervous because I always feel like someone is staring at me or judging me or even super irritated by me. And lets be honest here... I am well aware that there is a good chance no one is staring at me. I am getting uncomfortably close to thirty, I have blindingly pale skin, and I recently had to dig my fat jeans out of my closet.
The good news is that I've dealt with this anxiety for a long time, so I am slowly starting to relax a little and just laugh at myself.
Does anyone else ever feel like this?
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